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Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in incrediblesulks' LiveJournal:

Tuesday, December 21st, 2004
11:14 am
(T. Beechey)

Amidst the boundless astral plain,amongst the myriad drops of rain,
Between the moon and sun I've danced in a ceaseless quest to seek romance
But I just had to turn to find that what I sought was right behind
To take my hand and guide me through forever into the distant blue

Within her eyes,therein lies what shade and shadow can't disguise
All that is so pure and true,like when the dawn embarks anew
Spilling forth in lustrous rays,sifting through the mist and haze
Allowing for another chance to glimpse the world at flawless glance
And the images which have been drawn supply the strength to carry on
Over once untrodden ground as time's fabric grows unwound
Hers is truly a lyrical soul - lifting me up,filling the role
Of someone whom I used to know...it seems so very long ago

But also yet,in a way,there remains a sense of yesterday
For but a fleeting twinkling once,I relished the flavors of these wants
I savored every precious drop then,all too soon,it came to stop
Ever since I've longed and yearned for those moments to return
To cast aside shrouds of gloom and breathe in airs of sweet perfume
Nestled in rich bouquets of water lilies by the bay
Just simple pleasures,priceless treasures ---springing forth in spacious measures
Gone not to be revised...till I found the beauty in her eyes

Reviving faith,renewing hope,smoothing out each hill and slope
Granting chance to chances lost regardless of the cause or cost
A time to bask within the rays of playful,carefree summer days
And capture at their greatest heights passions borne on winter heights
Revealed to all,concealed to none --- the time to heal has begun
And I never thought I would see when such a time would come to me
I'm comforted so by its warming glow,more than anyone could ever know
Casting reflections below,above,and all around in hues of love

Now,as anguish goes,I've chance to dose --- at last,a moment for repose
For I've grown weary in my quest,my wounded soul beckons request
The mirrored portraits in her eyes reflect upon the earth and skies
Across the glass I fanitly trace a misplaced smile upon my face
When I awake I've come to see these dreams of smiles have come to be
For,within my heart,we are as one in the presence of the setting sun
Underneath a velvet mystic sky as clouded mists go rolling by
Upon a crystalled span of sea awash in sheer tranquility

And,all around,there is no sound --- not even a echoed whisper found
Just she and I within a world so unbridled and unfurled
Her poetic gaze I praise in song as,with the winds,we drift along
Past and beyond the skyline view...forever into the distant blue
Tuesday, December 7th, 2004
8:46 am
The Things I Meant To Say
(T. Beechey)

It seems that,lately,all I have spinning 'round my head,
Are all the itty bitty things I never ever said,
So many times I wanted to and countless times I tried,
But who knows why? It seems I kept them locked inside,
Days turned to weeks,then months and years,soon a lifetime passed,
And what remains are endless tears instead of smiles to last,
Oh,I'd give everything I had for another day,
To hold you close and whisper those things I meant to say.

I meant to say "Good morning" each time you awoke; I meant to say "How are you" whenever we spoke,
I meant to say "You're special" when no one seemed to care; I meant to say "I thank you" for being there,
I meant to say "I'll help you" no matter what the task; I meant to say "I'll listen" to each question you'd ask,
I meant to say "You helped me" for answers you'd give; I meant to say "Cause of you" for reasons that I live.

So many things I meant to say but something always got in the way,
Now no one's here to hear a word and so these things will not be heard,
But they echo daily in my mind and so I find myself resigned,
To listen as my conscience sings these intended but unuttered things.

I meant to say "I'm sorry" when I was wrong; I meant to say "Don't worry" when roads ahead seemed long,
I meant to say "I'll lead you" when you couldn't find the road; I meant to say "I'll take it" when you couldn't bear the load,
I meant to say nothing at all each time I'd complain; I meant to say "I'll shield you" from every drop of rain,
I meant to say "Forgive me" for each tear you'd cry; I meant to say "Give me one chance to tell you why."

So many things I meant to say but something always got in the way,
Now no one's here to hear a word and so these things will not be heard,
What was I thinking? Why'd I wait? I know it now but now's too late,
My heart lies bare with broken strings atop a mound of voiceless things.

I meant to say "I'll find it" when all you sought was time; I meant to say "I'll pull you" over each uphill climb,
I meant to say "Take my hand" as each road began to slant; I meant to say "Yes,you can" when you said you can't,
I meant to say "We did it" as we passed each test; I meant to say "It's over" when we'd find time to rest,
I meant to say "Here's the key" to secrets I keep; I meant to say "Dream sweetly" as you closed your eyes to sleep.

So many things I meant to say but something always got in the way,
Now no one's here to hear a word and so these things will not be heard,
Except by me from the morning sun until the day is finally done,
Yes,now you're gone and each day brings to mind these never-spoken things.

It seems that,lately,all I have rolling through my brain,
Are all the teeny,weeny things I'll never say again,
The things I should have said to the one I was with,
And all those misspent moments that have faded into myth,
So many things I meant to say but something always got in the way,
Now no one's here to hear a word and so these things will not be heard,
Sometimes,at night,your name I'll call to a faded frame on a shaded wall ---
I meant to say "I love you,"
I meant to say "I love you,"
I meant to say "I love you,"
And that one hurts the most of all.
Saturday, April 17th, 2004
10:43 pm
This is something I wrote about a month after my now ex-boyfriend broke up with me...

Figured I should post something to try and get the community going.

"What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you.
What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you."

Sometimes I wonder why I keep pining over something I can't have... It's been almost a month now, and I still feel as I did the moment he spoke those words to me. I ate my heart that day, and winced in pain as the acids dissolved the remains. Cried tears that wouldn't go away... That night, I couldn't sleep. I dreamt, and dreamt. I kept dreaming of every way he'd reject me when I'd see him again. Every plausible angle of defeat. For once in my life, I prayed for something. To God, or Jesus, or Bruce Campbell, or whatever diety it could possibly be pulling the strings to make everything work out all right...for once in my life...to make him change his mind. Wishing on stars, insomniac nights...days filled with tears and dread and pain, fear, lonliness...haunting me... Once again, my heart has been broken...once again, I need to pick up the pieces and put it back together, just for it to get broken by someone elses careless hands...like a porcelain heirloom, dropped throughout the ages...pieces lost forever with each break...pieces that can never be regained...

"I feel you missing from my heart, a part was kidnapped from my soul."

No matter how much I want to hate him, I can't... No matter how much he hurt me, I'd still find myself crawling back to him if he'd have me... People tell me he didn't deserve me...I don't think I deserved him. But I'd still take him back in a heartbeat, without so much as a second thought...

"The only way you could hurt me is to love me again."

Current Mood: sad
2 Cried | Cry
Monday, April 5th, 2004
5:08 pm
2nd Chances Don't Exist Where I Come From...
So Jenny and I have decided to make a community where you can bitch about love, boys, girls, being alone and just be totally emo. :) Post your rants or anything you've written...we welcome it! As for codes and shit...I think Jenny may be better at that shit than I am, so we'll see what coolness she comes up with. I'm sure she'll make an intro post as well, so I'll start out with something I wrote. :)

2nd chances don't exist where I come from...Collapse )

Current Mood: blah
4 Cried | Cry
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